Back to the beginning again
"The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said ... " Genesis 1:1-3a
Void, emptiness, darkness over the surface of the deep. This is how God describes the pre-created state. And the Spirit of God was hovering. Then God spoke into being time and space, heaven and earth, light and dark, water and land, plants and animals, and when He created man and woman He proclaimed the created order to be good. And the man said when woman was created "this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh". And when God explains marriage He says you are to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and become one flesh.
On April 6, 1991, I became one flesh with a man. And over the years we become "more one flesh". And when the crisis of a lifetime hit we became the "most one flesh" we had ever been. So much so that it was hard to tell where I began and where he ended. On March 3, 2014, our flesh was separated. I want to say he was ripped away, but it feels wrong to say it that way. He rode to glory! I stood on Holy ground with him as the angels beckoned him Home.
The only words I can come up with to describe this flesh ripping feeling is ...Formless ... Empty ...Void. I find comfort in the creation account because in the midst of this formless void the Spirit of God hovers over the darkness of the deep. I feel His hovering now and when I don't feel it, I am confident that He is still there. It's a confidence that grew out of watching my late husband cling to his faith and belief in the Creator's goodness and my own experience of God's faithfulness.
In the hovering, God speaks into being the created order. The Israelites believed that each new day was a new work of creation. And it is! God creates in us anew each day. Today, I am confident of the Spirit's hovering and I am waiting for the "then God said" part. My entire world has been turned upside down. I feel disoriented at times but between waves of grief I catch glimpses of God's glory. I am confident of the Spirit's hovering and I'm waiting for him to speak the next steps into the formless emptiness of life turned upside down.
My heart is broken, but Jesus Christ is what I'm running for. My heart is absolutely His. And I look forward to having His wind at my back again.
Inspiration for this post came once again from Switchfoot. This time the last song on their new album, Back to the Beginning Again. I feel like I could write a blog post about every song on this album. I don't know how Jon Foreman has so much insight into life, but their songs have given me inspiration to stay in the journey.
And my heart is yours
And what a broken place it's in
But you're what I'm running for
And I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Back to the beginning again
I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Back to the beginning again
I want to feel the wind at my back again
Void, emptiness, darkness over the surface of the deep. This is how God describes the pre-created state. And the Spirit of God was hovering. Then God spoke into being time and space, heaven and earth, light and dark, water and land, plants and animals, and when He created man and woman He proclaimed the created order to be good. And the man said when woman was created "this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh". And when God explains marriage He says you are to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and become one flesh.
On April 6, 1991, I became one flesh with a man. And over the years we become "more one flesh". And when the crisis of a lifetime hit we became the "most one flesh" we had ever been. So much so that it was hard to tell where I began and where he ended. On March 3, 2014, our flesh was separated. I want to say he was ripped away, but it feels wrong to say it that way. He rode to glory! I stood on Holy ground with him as the angels beckoned him Home.
The only words I can come up with to describe this flesh ripping feeling is ...Formless ... Empty ...Void. I find comfort in the creation account because in the midst of this formless void the Spirit of God hovers over the darkness of the deep. I feel His hovering now and when I don't feel it, I am confident that He is still there. It's a confidence that grew out of watching my late husband cling to his faith and belief in the Creator's goodness and my own experience of God's faithfulness.
In the hovering, God speaks into being the created order. The Israelites believed that each new day was a new work of creation. And it is! God creates in us anew each day. Today, I am confident of the Spirit's hovering and I am waiting for the "then God said" part. My entire world has been turned upside down. I feel disoriented at times but between waves of grief I catch glimpses of God's glory. I am confident of the Spirit's hovering and I'm waiting for him to speak the next steps into the formless emptiness of life turned upside down.
My heart is broken, but Jesus Christ is what I'm running for. My heart is absolutely His. And I look forward to having His wind at my back again.
Inspiration for this post came once again from Switchfoot. This time the last song on their new album, Back to the Beginning Again. I feel like I could write a blog post about every song on this album. I don't know how Jon Foreman has so much insight into life, but their songs have given me inspiration to stay in the journey.
And my heart is yours
And what a broken place it's in
But you're what I'm running for
And I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Back to the beginning again
I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Back to the beginning again
I want to feel the wind at my back again
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